Eggs and their many uses

It's a well known fact in Amsterdam that the taxi drivers are ruthless when it comes to bikers/cyclists. They're constantly trying to run you off the road with load honking, making sharp turns on the canal bridges 1cm away from you, accelerating towards you while you cross the street and/or hitting you with their side mirrors at high speed on narrow streets. It's like they're trying to kill you, literally.

This morning, a fellow biker almost got crushed by a taxi driver making a U-turn into a taxi lane. He had tried to pass the taxi on its left side as it happened, and was uttering a series of 'Hey's' with increasing volume and frequency before the taxi driver caught eye of him. This was actually a 'nice' taxi driver, believe it or not, because he raised his hand and shirked apologetically to the biker, who was understandably hot-headed and furious at this point. Like, c'mon, can't you see he's got a backpack, suitcase, children seated in the front and back, block of cheese in the front rack, umbrella in one-hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other?!! Give the guy a break!!!

(Okay so I was kidding about his Dutchness. He only had 2 bags and an umbrella, to be fair.)

Anyway, I have been in many of these situations myself, and have always felt flustered afterwards. How else should one feel after knowing someone actually tried to kill you!!? or at least could have... The rapid rage of fury is usually followed by "I wish I had an egg right about now" stream of thoughts, because it would be so nice - SOO NICE - to smash an egg (or 2) into that a**hole's shiny new car.

(My other inventions for annoyed bikers are still in the works and will be released in 2009, namely the 'Move Bitch' Tourist Swatter, Pocket-sized Air Horn, Racquet Ball on-a-Stick for hitting cars, and other exciting items.)