Dutch Frickin' Bureaucracy

I'm getting sick n' tired of the Dutch way of doing things. Or should I say, their way of finding the most ways of not doing anything!!! These days, I tell myself its' not worth getting upset, just expect it to take forever with every simple process, because if I have any higher expectations I will just be fooling myself. But still, i cant help but feel infuriated by all this piling up!!!
What exactly am I talking about?

1) MY 2004 TAXES. Steps included: Filing for them in person prior to April 2005, and being told that I'd get it in July 2005. Follow up call in mid-July. Response: Keep waiting. Follow up call in August. Response: You filled out wrong form. Fill in another form. I ask to get help filling it in to avoid more problems. Response: We don't help with that sort of form. Fill it in and send it to us. Follow up call in end of August. Response: Don't have your form. Visit tax office to get someone to fill in the right form, in the RIGHT way. He says that I'll get my taxes in a few weeks. Follow up call in September. Response: We have your form, but it could take up to a year to process. Keep waiting. I tell them my friends have gone thru the exact same form and got their taxes already. Response: Keep waiting, I cannot help you. ARRGH!!!!

2) Work-related logistics: Activating email - wait time: 7 hours + 3 reminder calls to the IT Helpdesk. Getting access to X-drive: at least 3 emails to the IT administrators, still no access. Gaining access to intranet content management: Wait time of 2 weeks, then realised they didnt give me enough access, so still waiting. Security entrance pass: 3 weeks to activate, then after 1 day of working, it does not work again thanks to 'system error'. Without the pass, one needs to be stopped at every exit and fill in redundant forms. It works now but I'm not holding my breath.

3) Mobile phone contract. They say its simple: just bring your bank statement, passport, and bank card. I dont have any bank statements kept so I bring my salary slip, since it has all the info there, such as my pay, my account number, etc. Everything's fine, they even said it's fine to use a salary slip, but then, upon filling out the paperwork, they change their mind and say 'nope, we need a BANK STATEMENT, not a SALARY SLIP.' They are very inflexible and wont budge. Wont open phone contract in the meantime for me. Must have all things together before going forward. SO DUTCH.

4) HR: Providing me with contract- 1 month late. Has no clue about the residence/work permit process, outsources to another company. When asked about the process, they simply say "i dont know, someone else does it." I ask: Can you please find out then where the process is? Their response: There's no point in asking, just wait. I ask "Can you please give me a contact of someone there at least so I can ask myself?" The response: "No, that is not possible."

5) Internet company: I want to cancel my contract so I call the helpline at least 3x. The line costs money so of course each time I wait more than 10 mins and get directed through countless voice trees (in DUTCH, on top of that). Man 1 says: Oh, youve reached tech support. I dont deal with personal account problems. He transfers me (read: puts me in an endless tunnel of black with grossly annoying long beeps as ring tones, I never get picked up and so I have to hang up after 7 or so minutes) Finally when I reach someone who supposedly knows the topic, he says "you have to write a letter to cancel the contract, hold onto ur modem til then and then u can return it to the store" So I do that.

Later I'm informed I can cancel earlier and go to the store w/ my modem and return it. I go. Lady at desk says: "We dont take modems back here. You can cancel by writing a letter. Or over the phone." I say, "I have written a letter already." She says, "okay then just wait. But I cannot take ur modem. Best you phone to cancel ur contract." I know there's no way to force her to take my huge frickin modem that I really did not want to lugg around, so I accept defeat. Then I saw a phone which had the customer service number written on it in permanent marker. Looking at her, I say "Can I use this phone to call and cancel?" She hesitates... thinks for a bit... and then says, ... "I guess so." (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) So I got to cancel over the phone just like that!!!! Stupid person on the phone, told me to write a letter.. but I still had to carry my modem around.

These stories are 100% TRUE. Can you imagine encountering "customer service" like this on a daily basis!?!?!?!?

WELCOME TO THE NETHERLANDS!!!! :P

My G-ma

Life abroad so far has been great and I love it here in Amsterdam, but one thing that keeps me thinking about home and stuff is definitely my Grandma. It was only recently that I realised that by moving to Amsterdam I had chosen a life which did not involve her (sounds stupid I know) but it cemented the fact that 'home' had suddenly been reduced to 2 weeks per year, and that was IF i chose to use my holidays to go home rather than to travel to other parts of the world.

There would be no more spontaneous dimsum-ing, grocery shopping, or eating, no sitting seemingly un-noticeably next to her on the old blue couch watching TVB soap operas, no painting her triangle-filed nails a magenta shade of red whenever we had a big dinner to attend, no plucking beans off her home-grown bean stalks and watching them turn from purple to green in the frying pan, no morning walks at a snails pace with her around the block, no joint exercise sessions where we flail our arms up and down at our sides to rid our bodies of gas, no nothing, maybe just a phone call here or there.

My grandma is one of the most interesting (and amusing) people I know. On my last trip home, I got to spend lots of time with her, especially on the cruise we took from Vancouver to LA where I was her personal milk-tea preparer, food advisor and gambling sidekick. Although the cruise itself was somewhat boring, she kept me amused and I learned a few things about her still.

For one, she is astonishingly unshy about being video-camera'ed or photographed. This was evidenced by my stockpile of 'her eating' photos as well as video footage of her a) taking her morning pills, b) eating beans and c) rolling around in bed during a nap. The bean-eating was especially entertaining, as she stuffed more and more into her grinding mouth, occasionally muttering that she was 'bao' (full) but still stuffing food into her mouth. It was by watching her eat, and the contents of her mouth which would somehow get pushed out to the edge before she rolled them back into her mouth for more grinding, that I realised her mouth was nothing but a machine to break down food, chewing, grinding, and sometimes sloshing with a bit of milk tea.

She is also very complacent and patient. If there's nothing going on, she can totally just sit there, with her soft hands folded on her lap above her giant belly, usually clutching her purse in the same place, and stare very innocently into space. She doesnt' ask annoying questions like 'What are we doing now?" or "Where are we?" or "Are we there yet?" She just kinda sits there.

On the cruise, we had a rare opportunity to do a lil sun tanning, and it was the first time we had ever done so together. It was fun also cuz I think my G-ma's legs see the sun maybe once every ten years, and so this was almost cause for celebration!! On our way to the deck, she informed me that her legs were the envy of every woman in China, cuz they are so straight and look beautiful in cheung-sam's, the traditional Chinese dresses, and well, look at them, pictures dont lie!!!!! :)

The best thing about my G-ma is she never tries to tell me what to do. Although she once said she would prefer that I stay in Vancouver so that we could go dimsum more often (among other reasons), she is so supportive of what I want to do and even paid for my plane ticket back to AMS. Sigh, it sure is a bummer not to be closer to her, but maybe one day, I can find a way for us to be!

WIFI AMSTERDAM

I found the solution!!! After moving to my new place, I haven't really had the need to go online cuz I'm hardly ever home. When I AM at home, I'm too busy lighting candles, changing or running to and from the kitchen/bathroom to really feel like I'm hanging out in the room. So, I wasn't really inclined to keep my contract w/ the internet provider for a whole nother year.

It had come crunch time, where I really needed to decide if I should keep the net or not, cuz the Hungarians from the old house needed me to return the cable modem asap so that they could get a new internet contract for themselves, and as usual, when faced w/ a fairly simple decision I just froze up!! (damn indecision)

Well... today, thanks to the suggestions from the Hungarians about stealing WIFI signals, I looked up on Google where I can do that in Amsterdam and turns out that there is a very cheap way for me to go online, via WIFI!!

INTRODUCING... HotSpot Amsterdam!!!

"Amsterdam to be the first European wifi'd capital"

Woopee! :) I love A'dam <3

Sweet sweet macaroon

Have you ever had one of these?















If you have, then you know what I'm talking about when I say CHEWY, SOFT, SWEET, SHREDDED COCONUT, SUGARY, LUMP OF JOY!

Face-Skin-Thick (Meen Pay Houw)

There's a saying in Chinese that literally translates to your facial skin being thick. It's supposed to mean that you can take a lot of sh*t, that you aren't petty, that you don't take offense easily, etc. Today, I found out how literal that saying actually is.

You see, my new boss is very cool. She's Dutch, powerful, strong, mature and very motivating. She also has very 'thick' skin, which you could compare to an elephant's. I often describe her as a clay face, one that you might have moulded out of pottery materials and left out to dry. She's that strong! Anyway, today she told me very bluntly never to do something ever again and it was a bit intimidating, but along w/ her steel blue eyes and tough exterior, I took her seriously and won't ever do what I did again.

I guess it takes some getting used to when dealing with the bluntness of the Dutch. I consider myself straight forward too but now it's quite fun to be on the receiving end. There's that initial shock of 'did she just say what she said she did?' and 'whats with the intense stare that came with the saying?' but then over time, you just appreciate that the person could be that up front with you. Now I know where the boundaries stand, right??

Anyway, the new job is going well, the days go by quickly and I'm happy being able to stare out my window and see half of Amsterdam in my 15th floor view. The last week has been super sunny and its' unbelievable that it's already October and still like this! :)

Here we go again...

It's a nice, familiar feeling to be back in Amsterdam in the fall, with the air just getting cold again, people are in gloves, hats, scarves and boots, and the the city has a slightly dark feel. It's been exactly one year since I first arrived here and I can't believe how much things have changed!! I'm currently living in the very centre of the city, close to a major clubbing area, right on one of the coolest streets in Amsterdam filled w/ good restaurants and funky shops.

Altho it's in the centre, it's still relatively quiet, and in the morning when I walk out to the tram stop and wait by the canal, the flower stand is busy being set up and you can smell fresh bread being baked in the neighborhood 'warme bakker' bakeries. People are riding by on their bicycles, some in crisp suits and others in casual mismatched clothing, I can't wait to fix my bike(s) so I can also ride to work!! It's now the end of my first week at my new job and so far it's been fabulous! I have a great team of 6 (including me) who are all Dutch and seem to work great together, everyone has a role to do, it doesn't seem like too much to handle, and my manager is a great leader... I could really see myself staying here if things stay this good...

so here is the question. say you have a dream job, something u think u'd love to do. but when u get that dream job, the job benefits suck, the work environment sucks, your coworkers suck, there is no job satisfaction or recognition, etc. but it IS your dream job and you are essentially doing what you love. Is it really then a 'dream job'?

On the other hand, what if you had a job you were skilled at, and knew you could do, with a bit of challenge and change thrown in here and there, it's not in your dream field/job, but everything else is wonderful: ur coworkers, your pay, your boss, job recognition, work life balance, location, etc.

Is it then really a 'shame' to not have gone for the dream job? We all have hobbies, interests and passions.. but do they necessarily have to become our jobs? and maybe, just maybe, its more than the job that really matters. What do you think?

Monkeys on da bus

Cool, no crashing yet. I have time to reflect on some things in HK...

Last night on the bus back from Causeway Bay, (it was a 60 min ride to get back home) I was sitting behind a young 20-something couple who were very close. The girl decided to take a nap by nestling her head into her boyfriend's neck and then eventually leaned over to rest her head on his lap, while his body slowly bent over her, and his head eventually began bobbing to and fro as well. For most of the ride, they were folded together like this.

About 20 mins later, she awoke with her hair in a mess, and the natural parting of her hair was pretty much unidentifiable. That is, until her boy started patting her hair down, picking strand by strand which way it should go (on which side of the part), picking and patting, picking and patting down the hair, until it was as good as freshly styled, before lightly pushing her head back into his neck so they could snuggle. Meanwhile, the groggy girl just let him groom her, and let herself be cuddled. It was like she was a toy he was playing w/.. styling a barbie, almost.

I found it quite comical to see the whole hair-picking and hair-parting and it reminded me of apes picking lice off each other. It was sweet... but hrm.. maybe it was weird to me that he was so thoughtful and considerate.. I guess it's a HK guy thing??

HK in a nutshell

Since this crashed on me the last time I tried to blog, here is a supa-quickie entry on HK:

-its muggy and hot (i like it!)
-the people are really really small
-there are many seniors that look like they belong in a coffin
-people's hair styles are either fried or dyed, or sometimes both
-there are apparently 4 girls to every guy but,
-i have not seen ONE goodlooking guy
-the suits are cheap
-the electronics are really coool!
-i like melon flavoured soy milk
-i'm on the prowl for pineapple bun w/ egg cream inside (WHERE IS IT GODAMMIT!!?)
-i've shopped non-stop since I arrived (NO JOKE)
-i'm flat out broke. but still shopping :)
-we decided to skip China because, well, China came to HK.
-i wake up bloated every morning from the freakin humidity
-ive been told countless times how fat i am and how bad my skin is by my loving aunt :P
-the customer service here is impeccable!! (delivery of my new glasses to my hotel??!) what??
-ive become over the top materialistic
-bargaining wont make u friends
-i want to go clubbing but no one to go w/!
-is there anything more to HK than just shopping??

Greedy me

I am so greedy... in my hands I clutch onto 4-5 different job prospects/offers, and I don't want to let any one of them go. I know I can't have them all, but I will keep my hands on each and everyone one until the moment someone comes to pry them away, finger by finger.

It's hard to comprehend exactly what's going on right now, with all the peeps chasing me down asking me to work for them, but I really can't complain. All I can complain about is my damn indecisiveness and not knowing which job to take.

---
ANYWAY! Alberta's in town and I'm busy trying to best show her what Amsterdam is all about. She has already tried stroopwafels in Vancouver and so all that's left now is:

• Vla (light and airy pudding)
• Milk n' Fruit (fruit flavoured milk, what else did you think it could be, dummi? ;)
• Pancakes w/ nutella and hagelslag (sprinkles)
• Gouda cheese sandwiches or on its own
• Fruit teas w/ milk, mmm
• Drop (licorice)
• MAYBE some stampot/hutspot (mashed potatoes with mashed crap inside)
• Kroket (fried unidentifiable meat w/ crispy exterior)
• Cone fries (in Belgium)

We will be hitting my favourite city tomorrow: BRUSSELS!! for some well deserved cake and pies, and of course a lil sight seeing. There is a beer festival on right now so there will be many tents w/ different kinds of beer in the Grand Place. O yA!

My head is being hunted

VS.











I'm going to Hong Kong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, today I got a call from my contact there who invited me to go to HK for an assessment and meet with some key HR contacts who are going to offer me a 'package'!! The best part is, I don't have to decide if I want to take the job until I get back to Amsterdam... but I'm SO considering it now. WOOHOO!!!!!

A tribute to BBQs

We had a BBQ in our backyard last weekend to clear out the fridge. As you can see, it was nice sunny weather and very delicious :) Note: Gouda cheese on burgers is to die for...

Photo Captions: (Starting on top left, clockwise)

• Can this Taiwanese/Canadian guy (Dave) be trusted??
• *sizzle* *crack* looking pretty tasty mm-mm!
• Me: Oh Cheesy-Burger, I am under your spell!! Dave: Works every time ;)
• Nico: Ooo gas sure travels fast. Me: Hehe, way to keep the fire going!

Big props to Dave for lighting the (coal) grill in under 10 minutes, you know that's why you were selected to live with us, don't you?? ;)

I h8 decision-making

Library to lend out gays and Muslims

23 August 2005

AMSTERDAM — Members of the public will be able to borrow more than books at Almelo Library. In September, people will be able to "borrow"a gay person, gypsy or a Muslim for an hour.

Jan Krol, the head of the library, got the idea from a Swedish colleague who set up a similar "forget the stereotypes" project in Malmo.

People will be allowed to bring the "borrowee" to a cafe for an hour next to Almelo library to ask questions they would not normally dare to ask.

Krol is putting together a group of 10 people — representing different minority groups — to volunteer to be lent out. One of the volunteers is a Muslim woman living in a local asylum seekers centre.

Krol is also chairperson of the Twente and Achterhoek branch of the gay organisation COC.

[Copyright Expatica News + ANP 2005]

--
Interesting isnt it?? Me and my friend are planning to borrow a gypsy. :)

Life has been a whirlwind as of late, and only recently have I been able to take a breather. Finally things are somewhat set.. but still not.. But after what I have gone through, I find myself in a state of utter indecision, where even the simplest decisions are impossible for me. Ugh it is so horrible to be like this!

Anyway, this weekend, we've got the second christening of the TEAM ABN AMRO boat in Rotterdam and I got a free ticket to go. If you dont know already , we are sponsoring 2 boats in the Volvo Ocean Race (a 9 month long boat race around the world), --I cant believe I am promoting this-- but anyway I'll be going for the free food and drinks and concert w/ Kane, a dutch band w/ an extremely HOT singer :D See, it all makes sense after all.

The rest of the weekend will be spent exploring uitmarkt, which is an annual festival in Amsterdam all over town, with shows, music, and other art performances scattered around. Hope it's nice weather!!

O yea, we had like 3 BBQ's in the past week cuz we had company, and we also wanted to clear out the fridge since Nico and Sofie are moving out (Waaaaahhhhh!!! :( jk..) They will be moving together into a very nice apartment, and so I will be staying in our house with a new guy from Canada -Dave- and Robert, the Hungarian. I will be moving too eventually but just in a few months maybe, but for now it will be interesting to see how the house is without Nico and Sofie. (Probably dead). but anyway we'll see. From the BBQs I learned that sausages are only good around 5-10 minutes fresh off the grill. I tried to take a few to work the next day and 'warm them up' in my soup, but they still tasted like (very fatty) rolled up cardboard shreddings. Blech...

I have Achilles Tendonitis

"Women who wear high-heeled shoes often and switch to sneakers for exercise also can develop Achilles tendonitis. The Achilles tendon and lower leg muscles gradually adapt to a shortened position because the shoes prevent the heel from stretching all the way to the ground. When this occurs, wearing sneakers or flat shoes forces the Achilles tendon to stretch further than it is accustomed to, causing inflammation. If high heels are worn everyday, stretching should be done every morning and night to keep the Achilles tendon lengthened. "

So, I have my answer. Owww...

Money ain't a thang

So I had a time span of 30 mins to try to find a pair of nice looking jeans, and I found myself in the DIESEL store of the main shopping street in Amsterdam yesterday. A few weeks prior I had already been scouting for jeans at the Replay store, and well, even though the price tag was demanding way too much from me, I went back twice to try on the same pair of jeans, both times without buying anything. Yes, I should be ashamed of myself, but what the heck, I did it anyway.

So this time, I decided to try and see if I could finally find a pair of DIESEL jeans that fit me well, as I have always wanted to own a pair 'for life'. The lady gave me 3 pairs and after I squeezed myself into the first pair, I knew it was over. I asked her, "Can I walk out in these?" to which she replied, "Well, if you buy them first." So... I went down to the first floor, paid the completely overpriced amount and changed into MY new pair of jeans.

I have never felt happier!!!!!

oh oh gotta go party now, TO BE CONTINUED...

Never 100%

I dunno what's up lately. I seem to always be sick!

Last week after boxing class, I injured my wrists and they were sore for a few days. Then, I got bit by a gang of mosquitos all over my lower left leg, causing me to hobble around like a cripple for another few days (the swelling was horrific around my ankle). Now, my ankle is finally healing and I have found a swollen lump on the right side of my neck! It's so gross, and I've been told it's just a regular lymph node fighting off some kind of infection in my body. But when will it finish???

I just tried to lie down, and it felt like the lymph node weighs 3 pounds on its own, the way it seemed to pull all of my head's weight down. What the hell!? I wanna get well!!!!

Other than the sicknesses, life has been stressful. There are so many decisions to be made and I am not in any position to make them yet. It's like constantly being dangled in mid-air. What is going to happen!!!??!?!?! I'm getting impatient.

Ghetto Superstar

Purchase of the day: adidas superstar shoes
Goal for the next 2 months: be able to move like missy elliott and her crew in her 'lose control' video
Just ingested: Milka Luflee (chocolate bar)
Instead of: Kit Kat Chunky
Feeling: very, very dissatisfied.

Rain, rain and more rain

It's another rainy July day in Amsterdam, and the whole rest of the week is forecasted to be the same. Everything is grey and the air looks thick and muggy. I so do not wanna walk out there in the rain, but, it is the only option as I have no car or other bubble form to enclose me from the cold wind and rain. Grrrr. Where is the nice sun n' beach weather!?!

Been having a pretty fun week and it's thanks to the increase of human contact I've had in the form of telephone chats and skype (add me: wafflerica!) Here are some of the things that made me laugh this week:

Me: He's addicted to salsa.
R: Are you sure it's not salsa n' chips?

Rob (to Max): Get off of me, I can see ur anus!!

C: A midget is any person under 137cm.
Me: How the hell did you know that?!

Me: Does anyone want this last chicken foot? *yum
Ch: I'll eat it!
Me: wtf!?
N (in a distinguished English accent): YOU bitch.

Me: Just wait til you get your face mashed by someone's lips.
A: I wish.

B: Nay... joe-gun meh-ah? hehe

CP: She has those...GOOD VALUES I would say.

oh, and did I mention, i returned home yesterday to find a huge pile of shit (literally) in my bed? Yes, it was Max. That ungrateful bastard!!!!

Dutch WCs: Odour incubators

At work, there are 2 stalls in the bathroom, both with doors that go all the way up to the ceiling and leave only a tiny crack at the bottom. Once inside the stall, there is a (relatively) strong lock that seals you inside this solitary room that fits a single toilet. Most 'WC's (water closets) are built this way, they are, literally, closets, where you are fully enclosed to take in the nastiest odours, produced by yours truly (YOU, not me, well... me too. hehe)

The toilets are structured this way for privacy's sake, something the Dutch favour highly. Since they are the most densely populated country in the world, they really like to build walls (both physically and psychologically!) If by chance you were to run out of toilet paper, you're on your own, there is no way you could ask your next door neighbour to pass you a few squares. Luckily, this has never happened to me before.

Anyway, everytime I go into the bathroom and there is someone who just came out, it is always a toss-up which door I should go into. Behind one door is a fresh, fragrant stall that has not been used for at least 10 minutes. The other door, however, is guaranteed to reek of recent rising wafts of stank from whatever the previous person was doing. The key here is not to offend the person who is currently washing their hands. So.. sometimes even though it is obvious which stall should be chosen (from listening to where the post-flush noise is coming from), I would have to go into the not so pleasant option.

...I don't call them odour incubators for no reason. *gag*

Call me Yuschenko

ahhhhh my face is changing!! somebody help me!!! its bumpy, its itchy, its red... i'm turning into victor yushenko!! have i been poisoned?? what the hell's going on!?!?!?

after a bout of deep thinking...I came to realise that I must be allergic to cats!!

See, it only started after we got Max and Kiek (meet Max below), and they have been playing around/sleeping in my room a bit, so yea, all of a sudden, I am allergic to cat dander. My boss confirmed that she also got allergies upon coming to Amsterdam, and then another Dutchie said to me that he also got new allergies when he moved to Amsterdam. So, there must be something about this city...

My stomach has a heartbeat

Sitting in front of my computer at work on this Tuesday afternoon, I realise I have just stuffed myself with a cup of chocolate vla (aka pudding), a large crisp apple, several cough drops, and 500 ml of water.. all this after a lunch of bread w/ 2 slices old cheese, fruit salad, and a cup of soup.

Feeling already like a blimp, I looked down at my pink tank top-wrapped stomach 5 mins ago to find that it was beating rhythmically in a dooown-UP!-dooown-UP! fashion. If it could talk, it would probably say "(gargle) more food, MORE!!! glub-glub-glub"

Ugh! Must. Stop. Eating!!!